Scientists Say Earth Will Be Habitable for 1.75 Billion Years: The LA Times is reporting that scientists have run the numbers and found that the the Earth will likely be habitable for at least another 1.75 million years. Needless to say, that’s gonna make a lot of us feel a bit more comfortable about our 30-year mortgages.
Man’s Viagra Overdose Leads to Penis Amputation: A 66-year-old farmer from Colombia needed to have his penis amputated after taking too much Viagra to impress a new girlfriend and suffering an erection lasting several days before finally going to a local hospital where doctors found his penis to be inflamed, fractured, and showing signs of gangrene. Oh well, all I can say is “easy cum, easy go!”
Florida Professor Arrested for Taking Upskirt Videos: A University of Florida professor who was arrested for allegedly filming secret upskirt videos of his students with a USB camera pen told police he was merely trying to prove that students don’t wear underwear. The professor also told police that his investigation was ongoing due to the fact that results weren’t quite as conclusive as he would have wished.
Police Arrest Hotel Fire and Security Director for Arson: A New York hotel security chief and fire safety director has been arrested for giving himself days off by setting small fires in the hotels he was supposed to be protecting. Sounds like a serious case of “job-burnout!”
Demi Moore Drank Too Much Red Bull: A friend of actress Demi Moore told the New York Post that the actress had been drinking “tons of Red Bull” in the days leading up to her recent emotional collapse. And, to make matters worse, she drank all the Red Bill while reading “Wired” magazine.
Dangers of Nanomaterials Examined: As the tiny substances called nanomaterials rapidly move into the marketplace in products as varied as cosmetics, clothing and paint, a panel of scientists say its time to investigate their potential risks. In response, companies using the nanomaterials are telling everyone “don’t sweat the small stuff - and of course - with nanomaterials, its are small stuff.”
Oregon Man Kills Wife Because Ketchup Lid Too Tight: An Oregon man justified murdering his 83-year-old wife to police because of her insistence on putting the lid on the Ketchup bottle on too tightly. Sadly, if she had only chosen to buy a squeeze-top dispenser, this whole tragedy could have been avoided.