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Health & Fitness

Carmageddon 2 Underway in LA

A satirical look at current events!

Carmageddon 2 Underway in LA:  The 10-mile closure on LA’s 405 Freeway for a bridge-demolition project known as Carmageddon has drivers struggling to find alternative routes to avoid the congestion.  Fortunately, there’s always the new Apple Maps to help drivers find their way.

Data Backs NY Sweetened Drink Ban:  New York City's ban on large sweetened beverages has been hotly disputed, but two clinical trials show that replacing sugary drinks can slow weight gain in children.  This was especially true in instances where they replaced the sugary drinks with crystal meth.  

Record High of Rabid Bats Found in LA:  Just in time for Halloween, comes a frightening story that blood-sucking bats with rabies are at a record high in Los Angeles County this year.  County officials caution anyone who may encounter any of these bats not hang with them.

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O.C. Sheriff's Employee Caught Filming Up Woman's Skirt: An employee of the Orange County Sheriff's Department has been arrested for allegedly using an iPhone taped to his shoe for videotaping up a woman's skirt at a Target store in California.  Police say the man got busted after receiving an incoming call and the song “The Stripper” began playing as his ringtone.

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Kanye West Fighting Sex Tape Distribution: TMZ reports that Kanye West is fighting the attempted distribution of a sex tape which he reportedly appears in.  Hell, I’d just like to get one made.  I’ll worry about distribution after.

Live In a Walkable Neighborhood:  A Canadian study finds that people who live in neighborhoods conducive to walking may be less likely to develop diabetes.  In response, LA officials are advising all those currently living in crack and gang infested neighborhoods to move to Beverly Hills.

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Aging Men Need to Keep Moving:  New studies all conclude that the key to keeping healthy for aging males is to stay active and keep moving.  I should be in fantastic health then.  I’ve moved 4 times in the last 5 years.

Federal Court to Rule on Rocky Mountain Wolf Return:  An argument over whether wolves should be allowed to return to Rocky Mountain National Park to reduce an overabundance of elk is moving to a federal appeals court.  If the court rules in favor of the wolves, the elk are expected to seek refuge at the local Elks Lodge.

Best Food to Protect Vision:  New research shows that spinach is perhaps the best food around to help protect your vision from such diseases as macular degeneration and glaucoma.  Doctors caution, however, that eating too much spinach may lead to another condition known as “Pop-eye.” 

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