81-year-old Man Shoots Self After Sneezing

81-year-old Man Shoots Self After Sneezing:  An 81-year-old man has been hospitalized after accidentally sneezing and shooting himself while attempting to kill a large raccoon that had broken into his home.  Police say they were unable to identify the raccoon because he was wearing a mask.

Zurich to Open Prostitution Drive-Thrus:  The Swiss city of Zurich approved a measure that will open prostitution “drive-thrus” in the city, where customers can place their orders for one of 40 prostitutes and then have sex with them in a wooden booth.  I don’t know what these drive-thrus will be called, but “Jack in the Box” or “In-N-Out” seem to be a pretty good fit.  Just pull up and order yourself a “happy meal.”

http://www.johnnyrobish.com

Large Cat Sighting Frightens Detroit Neighborhood:  Residents of a northeastern Detroit neighborhood expressed concern after seeing an extremely large cat prowling their neighborhood, which an expert believes is a Savannah cat - a hybrid cross between an African serval and a domestic house cat.  I could be wrong here, but when you’re living in a city like Detroit, one would think that the least of your worries would be a hybrid house cat on the loose in your neighborhood.

http://www.johnnyrobish.com

Crocodile Takes Australian Man as Friends Watch:  A 24-year-old man was snatched and presumably killed by a crocodile in front of all his friends after he tried to swim across a river near the northern Australian town of Darwin, ignoring plenty of posted warnings regarding crocodile danger.  All I can say is, it's rather fitting that this act of stupidity occurred near a town named “Darwin.”

Lamar Odom Missing for Three Days:  Lamar Odom's friends and family members reportedly haven't been able to contact the basketball star for almost three days and are concerned he has gone a crack cocaine-fueled drug binge.  Of course the Clippers and Mavericks might argue that he's actually been missing for the past 2 seasons.