Too Busy To Be (SNEAK PREVIEW: Excerpted from “Balance Your Work and Family with Less Stress and More Fun!”) by Jamee Tenzer

What is the cost of efficiency?  I recently started to realize that although I value efficiency and organization, I have lost some experiences along the way due to my commitment to my LIST.

We are constantly making choices in life, and when we choose one option, we eliminate many others. 

That is to be expected. 

However, it is useful to know what we are choosing so we can continue to make new choices if our commitments or goals change.

It was this line of thinking that made me realize that I have a habit (and many of my clients share this) of being so scheduled that I don't ever have "hanging out" time.  I have been this way since high school.  I always had somewhere to go after school - I always had a plan.

In retrospect, I think this was beneficial for me, but I don't really know what I missed, either.  This habit has continued to this day.

I have never been a mom that hangs out with other moms while our children play.  I have always opted to have a child at my house for a play date without her mother there, so I could "get things done."

I probably missed out on some great friendships.  Although I have always volunteered at the various schools we have been a part of, I have never chosen to participate in extracurricular activities with the parents.  I get in, get the job done and move on.

I am not a mom that can be called at the last minute to arrange an entire holiday party for my child's third grade class, but if you give me advance notice, the party gets done.

The habit continues in the workplace.  You can’t count on me to join everyone after work for a last minute get together with colleagues.  If it is planned, I will schedule it in, but the chances of me being available on the spur of the moment are slim.

Can you relate to any of this?

Or perhaps, your pattern has been completely different?  I have friends who do hang out with the other moms after school and talk.

They have close friendships with most of the other parents.  They don't mind a long chat on the phone that takes them away from whatever they intended to do with that time.  It just gets pushed to the next day, and that's O.K.

Take a free self quiz to learn more about your life as a “do-er”:
http://jameetenzer.com/self-quiz/

Coach Me Quick! Tips for Less Busy and more “Be”

1.  Identify your pattern.  Whatever the pattern is, it is not right or wrong, good or bad.  But, it is useful to look at it - if only to decide if the pattern still works for you or if it needs to be modified.  If the pattern is working for you, keep it!

2.  If the pattern doesn’t work for you, see if you can tweak it slightly.  What is one small change you could make?  Maybe you could say “no” to the next request for time OR “yes” the next time you are invited to participate in an impromptu way?  Make it a game.  Three “no’s” and one “yes” in the next week?